


Gdybym ja duchem był...

by Vernisee



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Brave Jaskier | Dandelion, Fix-It, Ghost Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion in Trouble, Kidnapping, M/M, Nilfgaard, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species, Protective Jaskier | Dandelion, Sad Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Temporary Character Death, Worried Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27065872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vernisee/pseuds/Vernisee
Summary: Jaskier finds himself in the unknown tavern without the knowledge of how he got there. What's worse, no one seems to notice his presence. Fortunately, there's the Witcher who insists on finding out what happened - even if a certain bard insists that he can handle it all on his own. That's the beginning of Jaskier's spiritual journey, literally and figuratively. The question is, where will it lead and what problems the Witcher and his bard will encounter on their way?
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 41
Kudos: 281





	1. Duchy widzą wybrańcy

**Author's Note:**

> Here's another story with Geralt and Jaskier starring, I hope you'll enjoy it! I plan to make it a 5-6 chapters long, but I guess we'll see where it leads.

How did he get here, he seriously had no idea. One moment he was... somewhere else, and then he was here. He frowned, confused. He didn’t even remember where he was before. He looked around. It looked like he was standing in the middle of some tavern. The place was full of poorly dressed people with sad faces. They all looked scared and worried.

Jaskier realized he has to be somewhere close to hostilities. These people had to be war refugees. Nilfgaard was pushing north with an alarming pace and soon there will be nowhere to hide from their army. Jaskier could swear that he himself was in a place free from the fights. Did the situation change through the night? He really couldn’t remember anything.

Looking at these people, Jaskier felt an impulse to play some light songs. He knew that music could do miracles with easing people's pain. Simple words were enough to pour some hope into hearts or at least distract people from bad thoughts for a while. Jaskier considered that his job. He reached behind his back, but instead of finding his lute, his fingers grabbed thin air. His heart skipped a bit. He looked around again, this time more carefully, to localize his beloved instrument. It had to be somewhere near, Jaskier never parted with it. Yet, the lute was nowhere to be found. He couldn’t just left it behind, could he? He didn’t remember...

His clothes were intact and he didn’t have any injuries, so he surely wasn’t robbed by some bandits. He was wearing his blue doublet, a little bit worn off, but getting a new one wasn’t exactly a priority during the times of war. Still, it should get people's attention by now. They would either recognized a bard in him or started whining about the luck of those who were born noble. And yet, people's sight was passing right through him, like he didn't stand out from the crowd at all.

Right. Maybe he was a little bit too focused on himself. These people just lost their homes and possibly their beloved ones, why would they care about what was he wearing? He saw a barmaid passing between the tables. Asking her about what was going on seemed like a good idea. Maybe he would get some information about how the hell he got in here, as well as about where „here” exactly was. If not, at least he would get some ale.

„Excuse me, my dear, could you answer my few questions?”, he approached her and smiled brightly. But the woman simply passed right by, without giving him a single glance. Jaskier would have find it extremely rude, unless he saw that the barmaid was clearly very busy. Well, there were other people he could interrogate. He spotted a group of friendly looking young fellows. They seemed like a good choice.

„Let me join you, good men. I was wondering...”, he started, but stopped immediately when, once again, no one paid him any attention. That was weird. The men carried their conversation as if no stranger had joined them at all. „Hello!”, Jaskier waved his hand in front of one of them, also without getting any reaction. He looked around once more.

A dreadful realization occurred to him. They didn’t see him. Jaskier started to run around the inn, trying to get anyone’s attention, his mind searching all possible explanations. Did he anger any powerful mages recently? That wouldn’t be the first time. Maybe he had spent the last night with one? He could have said or do something stupid and then the mage cast a curse on him. Yes, that sounded very likely. After all, he did not even remember how he got here in the first place. It has to be somehow connected with the magic.

So, he needed to find that mage and beg for forgiveness. He couldn’t possibly live as an invisible man. A bard whom no one sees or hears, what would be the use of him? Yes, he had to find that mage right now! But how and where? He didn’t remember a single thing and he clearly couldn’t ask anyone to help him, no matter how much he wanted to.

Jaskier fell on the bench in the corner, feeling despair and resignation. He didn't know how long he was lost in his thoughts before he heard the door opening with a loud thud. At first he did not react, too busy with feeling sorry for himself, but then he heard all too familiar voice and his whole body immediately went still.

„Will there be a place for me and my daughter?”, Jaskier would recognize that harsh tone anywhere. And sure enough, a moment later his gaze landed on the tall figure of the Witcher.

„No. Oh, no, no, no. Not happening”, he muttered and looked around to find a way out. Geralt surely didn’t notice him yet, so he might be able to flee yet. After the mountain Jaskier lost his desire to follow the Witcher around. Throughout the last two years he had successfully avoided all places where he could possibly meet him. Every time Jaskier heard about the Witcher’s presence in the area, he was gracefully turning around and going in the exact opposite way. But of course, he had to bump into him right now, when he clearly had even more shit to shovel. He didn’t want to burden Geralt with more problems, so he had to leave.

Wait a moment. He didn’t have to. Since no one could see him, Geralt won’t be able to spot him too. He relaxed a little bit and allowed himself to observe his former companion. Geralt was clearly tired. There was someone with him, but Jaskier couldn’t see their face. The Witcher’s new companion had a large hood pulled over their head. Jaskier felt a painful pang in his heart, when he realized he has been replaced. That there was someone else travelling with Geralt now. Only after a while did he remember the rumors about the Witcher, who had kidnapped the Cintran princess. Jaskier’s eyes opened wide. It would appear that Geralt indeed took his Child Surprise and was running away from Nilfgaard together with her. Jaskier would feel pride, if he didn’t feel the sadness and general distress at the moment.

In the meantime, Geralt settled something with the innkeeper and now was dragging the girl deeper into the inn. The Witcher was passing the place where Jaskier was sitting, when he suddenly stopped. Geralt’s hand moved to grab his necklace, his eyes started to anxiously search the inn. It was Geralt's universal behavior for "I feel magic in the air". And Jaskier had a very good idea about who was its source.

He swallowed hard and slipped slowly off the bench, trying to blend into the crowd. Now he wasn’t so sure the Witcher won’t be able to spot him, so he wanted to minimize the risk. He really didn’t feel like facing the furious Geralt at the moment. He learned his lesson two years ago. He was almost certain he has made it, when he heard a low voice right behind him.

„Jaskier”, and there went his chance of slipping away. He sighed heavily and dressed up the widest smile he could force of himself at the moment. There was still a possibility of making that encounter quick. It might not end up with yet another heartbreak.

„Ah, Geralt! I didn’t see you there!”, he turned to face his former companion. „What a coincidence to meet you here! How have you been?”.

The Witcher didn’t answer, instead piercing Jaskier right through with his golden eyes. The bard felt uneasy under his careful gaze. He waited for another harsh words, mentally preparing assurances that he did not know that Geralt would decide to travel this way. Also, Jaskier did not miss the fact that Geralt still kept his hand on the medallion. The only sign of emotion was the Witcher’s furrowed forehead.

„Something’s not right”, Geralt finally spoke. Jaskier laughed nervously, putting his arms protectively around himself.

„Yes, obviously!”, he answered. „Have you been outside? The Nilfgaard is wrecking a havoc on the entire Continent! Of course there’s something wrong!”.

„No, not that”, Geralt frowned even deeper. „There’s something of magic in here”.

Jaskier was thinking of something, anything to distract the Witcher from following that observation. As always, his talent with words decided to leave him when he need it the most. Thankfully, the Cintran princess decided to interfere in that very moment.

„Geralt?”, she tugged at his sleeve. „What’s going on?”.

The Witcher looked at her as if she has woken him up from a sleep. Then he turned to look at Jaskier.

„Come on, bard. We have to go. It might be dangerous in here”, it was Jaskier’s turn to frown. Why would Geralt care whatever Jaskier is away from danger or not? A while ago the Witcher made it pretty clear that he didn’t give a shit about the bard's wellbeing.

„Who are you talking to?”, asked the girl.

Well, maybe the Cintran princess wasn’t a blessed distraction after all.

„What? I’m talking to...”, Geralt suddenly stopped, turning to look at Jaskier. His eyes went wide. The unexpected meeting with Jaskier made him not get a good look at the former companion. Only now did Geralt notice that the edges of Jaskier's figure were slightly blurred.

„Right”, stated Jaskier nervously. „It was very nice to meet you again, but unfortunately I have some very, very important things to do, so I’ll be off right now....”, Jaskier began to back away slightly, fake smile still plastered on his face.

The Witcher quickly extended his hand to grab the bard's arm. It went right through Jaskier’s form. The bard gasped surprised. His eyes looked up to meet equally shocked golden ones.

„Jaskier”, the Witcher’s voice broke. He looked devastated. It confused the bard even more. He has never heard Geralt sounding like that before. „You are a ghost”, he said.

„I am a what now?”, suddenly Jaskier felt dizzy. Geralt must have been joking. He would certainly have remembered his own death. Death is surely unpleasant and usually quite painful. He didn’t recall feeling anything like that recently.

The realization had hit him. That was the thing, wasn’t it?

He couldn’t remember a single thing.


	2. Duchy są uparte

Geralt stared at Jaskier’s blurred form. He still couldn’t comprehend what had happened. His bard was supposed to be safe and sound in some norhten court, playing some dirty songs to some dirty nobles. And yet, here he was, right in front of him. Dead and apparently unable to find peace.

That was the only rational explanation. Geralt has never met a human ghost before, but he remembered Vesemir’s stories about lost souls, who wondered around the Continent unable to move to another dimension. The weight of unfinished business was pressing them to the ground, binding them with a force, which was causing unimaginable suffering. That was the last thing he wanted for Jaskier.

The Witcher’s mind was showing him pictures of Jaskier’s lifeless body dumped in some dark alley or at the side of the road. His face pale, lips blue, opened eyes looking into nothingness. His body half eaten by rats or wild animals.

Geralt was pacing around the small room he managed to get from the inkeeper. Being in the move was allowing him to distract himself from those disturbing visualizations. Ciri was sitting on the bed, clearly lost in the situation. And Jaskier just stood there, staring at him with eyes full of reserve. It took all of Geralt’s persuasion skills to get the bard to follow him inside the room. Jaskier clearly didn’t want to have anything in to do with him, which he completely understood. He caused it. It was all his fault. If he kept the bard near, this would have never happened. He could have protected him from whatever caused his demise.

„Geralt, stop. You are making me dizzy”, Ciri complained.

Geralt ignored her. He knew he should be focused on keeping her safe, on taking her to Kaer Morhen, but he couldn’t just leave Jaskier like that. He needed to make it right.

But this will never be right again. Jaskier was dead and nothing was going to bring him back.

The realization hurt more than Geralt was ready to admit. It meant that he will never again feel Jaskier’s fingers running softly through his hair, trying to rinse monster's guts out of it. He won’t smell the calming scent of chamomile, when Jaskier puts his arm around him in a friendly gesture. He won’t feel the warmth of his bard’s body lying next to him, when they share a bed due to being low on the coins.

Until this very moment Geralt didn’t think about how much he had missed all those things. After the mountain he had successfully pushed all unwanted feelings aside, lulling himself into conviction that witchers are meant to be alone. And then the fall of Cintra happened and Geralt had to take care of orphaned princess. He simply didn’t have time for his bard. And now it was too late.

„Are you done?”, Jaskier’s voice snapped him out of reverie. „If so, then I’m off”. The bard headed for the door.

„Where do you think you are going?”, the Witcher growled. He moved to catch his arm, but quickly paused. He forgot the bard didn’t have a solid form anymore.

„Well, I don’t know!”, Jaskier threw his arms in a dramatic gesture. „But you already have enough problems on your plate”, he pointed to Ciri. „So I’m taking mine out of here”.

„You said it yourself that you don’t even remember how it happened!”, Geralt shouted. „How are you going to find a way out?!”.

„I’ll think of something!”, Jaskier shouted back and then he added more calmly. „I’m my own man, Geralt. I don’t need your help. I’m not your problem anymore”.

„Of course, you are my problem!”, the Witcher snarled without thinking. The realization of what came out of his mouth came a second too late. Jaskier looked like someone had just slapped him.

„Right. I’m nothing more than a shit shoveller problem”, he claimed. „But like I said, Geralt. I’m not going to throw it on your face this time around”.

In that moment Geralt understood that Jaskier no longer trusts him. That maybe he even started to see a monster in him, just like every other human did. It was a really powerful blow in his guts. He expected anything but contempt from the man who had accompanied him for so many years. But Geralt deserved it without the doubt.

„I didn’t mean it on the mountain top, Jaskier”, he admitted. „I was angry and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry. Please, let me help you”.

Jaskier watched him for a moment and then he sighed.

„You have too much of a hero in you, you know? Just take care of Cirilla, Geralt. I’ll be fine”.

„No, you won’t be”, argued the Witcher. „Do you even know anything about ghosts?”, then he continued before the bard could disturb him. „Something binds you here. Maybe you don’t feel it yet, but you will in time. It will hurt a lot. It will hurt to the point you forget who you are and soon there will be only an empty howling shadow left of you. You are an idiot if you think I’ll let you suffer like that”.

Jaskier looked down at the floor and embraced himself with his arms protectively. It was clear that he was in a huge distress. Geralt was aware that his bard knew that he can't handle it himself. And yet, Jaskier stayed completely silent.

„I don’t mind helping your friend”, suddenly Ciri spoke up.

Geralt swollowed an urge to shot back that they are not friends. It was a lie, possibly the biggest he has ever said. It was the time to end it.

„Friends help each other back, Jaskier”, Geralt looked him in the eyes, silently begging him to understand the meaning of his words. He was never good at expressing what he thought. Jaskier knew that very well and was able to read the Witcher better than anyone else. Geralt knew he had won this round when he saw a shadow of a smile forming on the bard’s lips.

„So what do we do, my dear Witcher?”, he finally asked.

„We find a thing that binds you here”, Geralt stated simply. Even though he had no idea where to begin.

They spent next hours on trying to figure out how exactly Jaskier died. Geralt decided it was the best way to start, because ghosts which usually couldn’t find peace were those who had died a gruesome death. All it was taking to free them was letting them come to terms with what has happened to them. Or so Geralt heard from Vesemir. In their case, it was clearly doomed to failure, since Jaskier still couldn’t remember a single thing. The Witcher was simply frustrated at this point.

„Maybe he was killed by Nilfgaard?”, suggested Ciri. „You said you travelled together. Maybe Nilfgaard knew that and kidnapped him to find out where you were, becasue they knew I’m with you?”.

Geralt didn’t even think about that before. He simply assumed that Jaskier got into trouble all by himself. The bard was very talented in that particular matter. But what Ciri was saying made an awful lot of sense. Jaskier was known all around the Continent for singing songs about the White Wolf. The Witcher would never admit it out loud, but Jaskier became quite a famous troubadour. Nilfgaard had to know about him. It wouldn’t be hard for them to lay their hands on the bard.

Which meant Jaskier could have died in some dungeon, tortured for an information he didn’t have. The thought made Geralt sick. No wonder the bard was binded to this realm. In his place, Geralt would want attention and revenge. The individual pieces began to fall into their place.

At least in Geralt’s mind, because clearly not in Jaskier’s.

„It’s not your fault, Ciri!”, gasped Jaskier. When it didn't get any reaction on the girl's sad face, he added frustrated. „Geralt! Tell her it’s not her fault!”.

„It’s not you fault, Ciri”, the Witcher repeated. „It is mine”.

„That’s not what I meant!”, shouted Jaskier.

„Think of it, it makes perfect sense”, argued Geralt. „Why did you just show up at the tavern where I was planning to stay? Your ghost was subconsciously looking for me. You wanted me to know you died because of me. You want revenge”.

„Oh no, no, no”, Jaskier laughed bitterly. „You are not going to convince me that I was planning a revenge on you! I don’t want or need your suffering!”.

„Maybe you don’t, but your spirit might”, Geralt seemed sure of his arguments.

„Me and my spirit make a one team, thank you very much!”, Jaskier put his hands on his hips. „We are so not turning this situation into a pity party for you! You had nothing to do with what happened to me. Besides, I’m almost sure Nilfgaard didn’t kill me!”.

„How can you know? You don’t remember!”, Geralt growled.

„I distantly recall being too far north for that”, Jaskier huffed out. „If you want to take a punishment, because you feel guilty of how you treated your very best friend in the whole wide world, you can think of something once we are done with solving my problem”.

„I don’t feel guilty”, Geralt tried to deny.

„Yeah, sure thing”, Jaskier rolled his eyes.

Silence filled the room. For the first time in his whole life Geralt didn’t know what to do. He felt helpless. He didn’t know what could possibly set Jaskier free. If he had to be honest, he didn’t want Jaskier to be set free. Whatever was binding the bard with this world, it meant that the Witcher could be close to him. The moment Jaskier is released, he will go away and Geralt will be left alone once again.

_Blessed silence_. The words echoed in his head. No more cheery bard disturbing him at his every step. No more anoying music and endless babbling. Geralt hated the idea.

But he couldn't be so selfish. He couldn’t keep Jaskier here, watching him fading away in agony each day a little bit more. His bard was doomed. The only way to help him was to let him go. Geralt had to accept this thought.

„You’ll go to Kaer Morhen with us”, he decided. „Vesemir will know how to trigger your memory. And I have to take Ciri there anyway”.

Jaskier looked at him with a sad smile.

„One last journey of the White Wolf and his barker it is then”, he agreed. „I would wrote an epic ballad about it if anyone could hear me”.


	3. Duchy są przywiązane

Geralt was behaving strange and Jaskier was starting to worry. The Witcher didn’t snap at him even once during their trip, which was five days already. And Jaskier was trying very hard to get that familiar reaction out of his companion. It would give him a little sense of normalcy. The bard still couldn't come to terms with his condition. But no. The Witcher was either ignoring his senseless chatter or, what was much worse, responding to it. Only a moment ago, when Jaskier was complimenting on the beauty of the sunset, Geralt stated that it reminds him of sparks of a burning fire. The bard didn’t know if he should be happy that there is a shadow of a romantic soul in that gloomy Witcher or rather be scared that at some point Geralt was replaced by a doppelganger.

„That’s it”, he decided when Geralt actually asked him to sing a song after they finally settled for the night. „What is wrong with you?”.

„I don’t understand the question”, the Witcher muttered.

„You asked me to sing!”, Jaskier replied, underlining each word with a raised tone.

„Thought Ciri might like it”, stated Geralt.

„Right, that would make perfect sense. But only if Ciri could have heard me!”, the excuse was ridiculous. And Geralt actually looked like a kicked puppy right now.

„What might I like?”, asked Ciri. She was already lying on her bedroll, close to the fire. Jaskier was amazed that the girl simply accapted the idea of a ghost being their companion.

„Jaskier’s songs”, explained Geralt. „He is one of the best bards on the Continent”.

Seriously, that was getting out of hand. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that Geralt was doing it, because he felt sorry for him. Jaskier could endure everything, but not that. People always though he was pathetic and tired to lie him in the eyes that he had some value. He will not spend his last days on this realm on accepting similar assurances. He appreciated Geralt for always being honest, even when that honesty hurt.

„Stop pitying me!”, he demanded.

„What?”, Geralt looked clearly lost.

„The whole way from the inn you were behaving awfully! You were listening to what I was saying, adding your own observations, answering my questions and now you compliment me!”, he took a deep breath. „I don’t need your pity, Geralt!”, he repeated.

„That’s not pity”, the Witcher defended himself. „I was just... trying to appreciate you”.

„Why on Earth would you be doing that?”, the idea was simply stupid.

Geralt was opening his month to answer when there was a sudden rustling deeper into the woods. The Witcher jumped up, reaching for his sword. It had to be something dangerous if Geralt didn’t hear it ealier. Or maybe he was just distracted by Jaskier, after all the bard was pretty good at it. Jaskier looked around for a possible hideout, only to realize that he was already dead. Which couldn’t be said about Cirilla. Geralt silently ordered her to move closer to the fire. Creatures were usually scared of being burn.

The rustling grew louder and then the outline of a figure appeared between the trees.

„I would say I’m surprised to bump into you out of all people here, but I guess the Djinn magic works for itself”, Jaskier heard a very familiar and a very scary voice.

„Oh no. No, no, no!”, he laughed darkly. „Of course, once you think it can't get any worse, she appears!”.

That earned him Geralt’s heavy gaze. In the meantime, Yennefer came out of the forest, the light of the fire illuminated her. Only then the dark laugh of Jaskier died short.

„By Melitele, what happened to you?”, he asked.

The sorceress looked like a literal hell. She was pale, had dark circles under eyes and her dress was in pieces. She looked nothing like the powerful witch with whom Jaskier secretly loved to argue. Geralt immediately rushed to help her, completely ignoring questions which were now flying out of bard’s mouth with a remarkable speed. Well, at least their relation was back to normal then.

Yennefer looked around the camp, clearly concerned. Her eyes focused on Ciri, who stared at her with wide eyes from her spot next to the fire.

„Thank the gods”, the sorceress breathed a sigh of relief. „You’ve found her. I was worried Nilfgaard got to her first”.

„You are Yennefer”, stated Ciri. That earned her curious glances from the sorceress, the Witcher and a ghost bard. „I dreamed of you. There was a big fire”, she explained.

„The battle of Sodden”, Yennefer explained Geralt’s silent question. „Many of our people were killed, I barely escaped. I was looking for information about Cirilla ever since. I heard she escaped. You need to hide her, she is the priority”.

Geralt grunted in agreement.

„I’m taking her to Kaer Morhen”, he said. „You should come with us”.

„Of course”, Jaskier muttered, rolling his eyes. Then he retreated under the nearby tree. Geralt and Ciri spent half of the night on getting answers about the war out of Yennefer, but somehow Jaskier wasn’t interested in the story.

The sight of three of them together made him realize that no one really needed him. He was a burden to everyone he met. Not even his own family cared for him. They were simply using him for their purposes and when he finally decided to take his fate in his own hands, they disowned him. He was proven that he was worthless multiple times later too. He was freely giving his heart to everyone, only to find out that they are using him too. Once he gave them what they wanted, they were abandoning him. Jaskier got used to it at some point. He hid his disappointment and pain under an artificial smile and general joyfulness.

Then he met Geralt. After a while he started to believe that he got himself a tiny place in the Witcher’s heart, even if said Witcher didn’t want to admit it. He was proven wrong on the mountain and now could see it clearly. 

Geralt, Yennefer and Ciri were making a happy family. Geralt was carefully tending Yennefer’s wounds, Ciri was giggling about something Yennefer said. What’s more, Geralt looked softer and was actually opening up to these two women. In two hours they managed to do something that Jaskier tried to do for over two decades. He was happy for his Witcher, he truly was. But at the same time it tasted bitter.

Why was he even tailing after Geralt right now? What was he trying to achieve? He should just go… 

Jaskier looked at the stars above him. He realized he was scared of passing over, because if he won't be here to remind Geralt about himself, the Witcher is going to forget him. Jaskier was terrified of disappearing. He wanted to make a difference to someone. No, scratch that. He wanted to make a difference to Geralt. He spent with him so many years that the possibility of the Witcher immediately moving on after his death, or even not carying about it at all, was incredibly painful. Jaskier thought his presence would prevent this from happening, but this night has proved him wrong. Geralt didn't pay attention to him ever since he sat with Yennefer and Ciri.

Jaskier had nothing left. Geralt obviously will be fine… and maybe the other side was better? Maybe there he could be worthy?

He felt tingling in his fingers. He looked at them. They radiated with warm glow. He understood he could go. He looked at Geralt, who was still sitting at the bonfire. It wouldn’t be good to go without goodbyes. He clenched his hands. He will leave tomorrow.

It was during the breakfast when Yennefer finally noticed that something was not right. 

„Where is your bard?”, she asked casually. „Usually that little thing is glued to your side. Thought you’d keep him close during the war, he might report you to Nilfgaard”.

„I would never!”, Jaskier shouted furiously from his spot under the tree. He spent there the whole night wondering how to make his farewell. Geralt glanced at him.

„Jaskier is loyal”, he said simply. 

„Which doesn’t answer the question. Where is he?”, if Jaskier didn’t know any better, he would say Yennefer sounded concerned.

Geralt sighed heavily, ran his hand over his face and then pointed his finger at him.

„He is standing right there”, he admitted. Yennefer looked in the indicated direction, clearly confused.

„There’s nothing there”, he frowned. Then her eyes went wide in realization. She quickly turned to look at Geralt, opening her mouth. 

„He’s dead”, the Witcher said before she managed to voice out her question. His voice was completely flat. „We don’t know how it happened. I met him like that few days ago”.

Yennefer stared at him.

„You see him?”, she finally asked. Geralt nodded. „Of course, you do”, she scoffed. „Of course, you would keep him bound here”.

„What?”, Geralt looked surprised.

„Don’t tell me witchers don’t know how that works”, huffed the sorceress. Seeing Geralt's blank gaze, she continued. „Ghosts refuse to go to the other side if they have unfinished business with the living ones. Only these particular living ones can see and hear them. I don’t know what happened between you two, but the bard clearly thinks that he has some matters to settle with you”.

Jaskier decided to join the conversation before Geralt could refer to Yennefer’s short lecture about ghosts.

„About that”, he started, rising his hand to gain Geralt’s attention. „Can I speak to you in private?”.

The Witcher stared at him for a moment and then nodded. He gave an order for Yennefer to look after Ciri and then gestured for a bard to follow him into the woods.

„Was Yennefer right?”, he turned around to face Jaskier. The bard avoided eye contact, which was a sufficient answer. „Is this because of the mountain?”.

„Well… Partly, I guess”, Jaskier answered, showing discomfort by nibbling on his sleeve. „It doesn’t really matter anymore”.

„It matters if it keeps you here!”, the Witcher shouted.

„Am I really that much of a nuisance?”, the bard asked silently.

„What?”, only after few more seconds the Witcher understood Jaskier’s question. „No, Jaskier”, he said softly. „I’m not angry because you are here. If I could, I would have kept you here. But you have to go, because otherwise you are going to suffer. And I don’t want you to suffer. So we have to find a way to set you free”.

„Yes, well. I guess I already found that way”, he admitted. Geralt’s eyes went wide. „I came to terms with my role in your life and the bound broke”.

„You… came to terms... with what?”, the expression on the Witcher's face turned into the one of dread. „You can go?”.

„Yes, I promise I'll leave in a minute. I just wanted to say my goodbyes first”.

„Jaskier, I don’t…”, whatever Geralt wanted to say was interrupted by a bloody scream. It came from their camp. They both jumped up and ran in its direction. The scene they saw there made the bard's dead heart stop.

Yennefer lied on the ground. Her wounds reopened and there were some new ones. She looked in their direction with a pure horror written on her face.

„Nilfgaard. They took Ciri”.


	4. Duchy się poświęcają

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just like I suspected at the beginning, the story took a little bit different path from what I originally planned. I guess, it lives on its own now. I hope that it will be pleasant to read.
> 
> Of course, thank you all for all the kudos! I really appreciate them <3

„How could you let that happen!”, roared Geralt. Jaskier has never saw him so furious before. The Witcher growled and hit the nearby tree with his fist. As for the emotionless creature he claimed to be, he could be very expressive at times.

„They took me by surprise!”, Yennefer tried to defend herself. „They opened the portal and hit me with magic. I didn't have time to react, leaving out the fact that I’m too weak yet”, she admitted.

„You had to brought them here!”, the Witcher argued further. „We were fine until you showed up!”.

„That’s impossible! I would have sensed that!”, the sorceress replied. „How can you be sure it’s not the bard? You don’t know what is the story of his death!”, she accused.

„Right, blame the bard. As always”, sighed Jaskier.

„Jaskier has been with me and Ciri far too long for it to be his fault”, decided Geralt.

„I am very grateful to you for protecting my humble self”, the bard started. „But if you would let me speak right now, I would like point out we have a princess to rescue! Can we focus on creating some kind of a plan? You can continue your spat later, we are wasting time!”.

Geralt grunted. Jaskier knew him well enough to read it as an agreement. The bard bowed in a theatrical way, as if to say "thank you".

„Can you track them?”, the Witcher asked the sorceress, this time much calmer.

„Yes, they surely left a trace”, she replied. „But it’ll take a moment. Like I said, I’m not in the best shape”.

„Take your time. We don’t have a better option anyway”, The Witcher nodded. „Come on, Jaskier. Let’s let her focus”. He said and walked to pick up his swords. 

The bard tailed after him, confused. Geralt sat on the fallen tree a littler bit further, gestured for Jaskier to sit next to him and then started to clean his blades. Jaskier settled down with him and silently watched Yennefer from afar. She was sitting in the place where the portal opened, her eyes closed and eyebrows tied with effort.

„You should go”, the Witcher spoke after a moment.

„What?”, the bard’s head snapped.

„You said you are ready to leave”, Geralt explained. „There’s no need for you to be here any longer”.

Jaskier opened and closed his mouth few times before he thought of the accurate reply.

„I know you want me gone, but I won’t leave you like that!”, he was indignant. „I know I’m usually useless, but this time I can be your advantage! Think of it… no one can see me, so I can go to reconnoitre whatever place they keep Ciri at without the risk of being caught!”, he reasoned. 

The Witcher looked at him, frowning. He took a deep breath to say something, but Jaskier was quicker.

„I promise, once Ciri is safe and sound, I’ll go”, he said. 

„I found them!”, shouted Yennefer at almost the same moment. They both immediately hurried to her. „They are in motion, at least few days to the south. We have to wait until they stop for a break. Then I can teleport us somewhere near. But I don’t know how many soldiers they have”.

„Tell her I’ll take care of that”, Jaskier demanded. The Witcher sighed.

„Jaskier will do a reconnaissance”, he confirmed. The look of surprise on the face of the sorceress was priceless.

„I guess, it makes sense”, she finally said. „He can't screw up anything when nobody sees him anyway”.

„Thank you for your faith in me”, the bard huffed.

It took them few hours to set up everything. Geralt dressed his armor and Yennefer took that time to gather her strengh. Then the Witcher informed Jaskier what he should pay attention to during his mission. Geralt clearly didn’t like the idea of letting the bard go right into the foe’s camp, even though it was ridiculous, since the bard couldn’t get hurt. Nonetheless, Jaskier carefully listened to everything Geralt was saying. It was his chance of doing something useful, after all.

Then Yennefer teleported them to the place half an hour away from the spot Nilfgaard has chosen for their camp. It was nearly a sunset already. She pointed Jaskier in a right direction, saying she and Geralt will be waiting here, unless some patrol comes this way. If that happens, they would hover around the camp about the same distance as now, so the bard would be able to find them.

And just like that, Jaskier was on his own. He was singing to himself all the way to the camp, figuring it will lift his spirit and won’t do any harm anyway. That was an absolute plus of being a ghost. The other one was the possibility of just walking right into the middle of the Nilfgaardian camp as if he owned the place. Which he obviously didn’t do, because Geralt forbade it. The Witcher warned they might have mages who are able to sense a presence of a ghost. Jaskier thought it was unlikely, considering that Yennefer, the most powerful sorceress he knew, didn’t know about him until Geralt pointed him out to her. But like they say, better be safe than sorry.

So he carefully looked out from behind the trees and started to observe the movements of the Nilfgaardians. After a while he moved a bit closer, lurking in the shadow of a tent. When the eyes of a few soldiers passed right through him, he felt confident enough to move around more freely. His priority was finding the princess. His attention was captured by a well-armed soldier, followed by two others. He looked like their leader.

„This has to be a joke!”, the man roared. „I tell them I have the girl and they order me to wait!?”. He furiously kicked a stone. „That little shit can escape any moment, the Witcher will be looking for her!”

They were heading to what looked like a main tent. Jaskier took the opposite direction. He selected a few tents on the other side of the camp, in front of which stood guards. He started to check them, one after the other, slipping in and out after servants who were rushing around. Finally, he found the right one. 

Cirilla was lying on the threshing floor. She was gagged, had chains on her arms and legs. She looked terrified, but otherwise unharmed. The relief flooded over Jaskier, but at the same time the girl's tearful cheeks broke the bard's heart. He cursed under his breath that he can’t give her any sign and reassure her that help is on the way. 

The only thing he could do was to head back to Geralt. The Witcher was probably already losing his mind. Yet, Jaskier took one more moment to memorise the layout of the camp.

„They have nine decent tents”, he announced when he finally approached the Witcher and the sorceress. „The biggest one in the middle belongs to their leader, but that’s not when they hold Ciri. She is in one of the three bigger tents on the eastern side of the camp. It’s the one closest to the center of the camp. They didn’t harm her. The tent is guarded all the time by three soldiers. I counted twenty three overall, including the leader. There are also servants, but I don’t think they’ll fight. No mages, at least I didn’t see any. The one who teleported them had to go somewhere else”, he reported and let Geralt repeat the information to Yennefer. Then he described how the guards change and where the most of the soldiers seem to gather. He also informed that he heard the squad was ordered to wait rather than to bring Ciri immediately.

He could swear that by the end of his monologue the Witcher and the sorceress looked impressed. Jaskier indeed tried to describe everything he saw as best as he could.

„That gives us a hell of an advantage”, announced Yennefer. „Maybe we should keep the ghost?”.

That earned her a very heavy glance and a warning grunt of the Witcher. Jaskier looked away, feeling shame that apparantly he didn’t do as well as he thought. He retreated, letting Geralt and Yennefer work on the plan of the attack on the camp.

They decided that Yennefer will try to sneak unnoticed as close as possible to the tent where Ciri is being kept, while Geralt starts the attack from the opposite side. Once most of soldiers will be distracted by the havoc the Witcher will imply, the sorceress will break the princess out, clearing her way with magic. Then Geralt will run towards them. Once they are together, Yennefer will teleport them out of the camp. Simple as that.

Jaskier insisted that he will be an extra pair of the Witcher's eyes during the fight. Geralt only snarled, but otherwise didn’t argue. At the end, the presence of Jaskier turned out to be essential for the Witcher. At least, looking from the bard’s point of view.

At the beginning everything was going according to the plan. Geralt provided the Nilfgaardians with the real slaughter. Jaskier watched the severed limbs fly around, literally. He has never seen the Witcher in such a killing spree. He silently congratulated himself that his endless babbling has never gained this kind of reaction from Geralt. Not that he actually believed that the Witcher would have ever physically hurt him. But the murderous expression of Geralt's face, sprinkled with the blood of the opponents, was truly terrifying. And fascinating a the same time. 

When Geralt started to retreat to the place where Yennefer was already waiting for him with Ciri, for a slight moment he became inattentive. It was only a split second, but it was enough for one of the Nilfgaardians to sneak up on the Witcher from behind. Jaskier saw the blade of the sword approaching Geralt's neck and he just knew the Witcher won’t be fast enough to block it. 

Jaskier gave a warning cry and threw himself on the soldier. He knew it won’t work, but that was the only thing that came to his mind. He couldn’t let them kill Geralt. He expected to pass through the man's body and maybe cause a feeling that will confuse the soldier, giving the Witcher precious seconds for the reaction.

He was truly startled when he felt his fleeting form actually collides with the body of the Nilfgaardian. The surprised soldier stumbled to the side and then fell, dragging the bard with him. Suddenly, Jaskier felt a piercing pain. He never felt such a pain before.

„Jaskier!”, he heard Geralt's frightened scream. Although it was not too loud, since the pain clouded his senses.

The bard looked at his abdomen. The blade protruded from it at an odd angle. Jaskier was lying on the soldier, who apparently must have hit his head during the fall and lost consciousness. What was odd though, was that there was no blood coming out of Jaskier’s wound. Instead, the bright light was spilling out of it.

Geralt rushed to his side, his hands trying to press the wound. They passed right through the bard and touched the ground. The Witcher howled, clearly lost. Through the blinding pain Jaskier saw the other figure approaching. Yennefer.

„The light”, she said in clear awe. „It’s Jaskier’s spirit, isn’t it? He was torn apart”.

Geralt was moving his fingers on the ground, desperately trying to catch the hold on his bard. Jaskier didn't understand what was happening, everything was becoming so blurry.

„He's falling apart, Yen!”, Geralt howled again. „Do something!”, he roared.

„I can’t”, she replied, her voice so gentle and sad. „Say goodbye, Geralt. He's about to cease to exist. He sacrificed himself for you. It's rare”.

„No, no, no!”, the Witcher cried. „Why did you do that, you idiot!”

Jaskier blinked. He tried to focus on those shiny yellow eyes. Were that tears? He has never seen Geralt cry… He heard a another sobbing nearby.

Cirilla. Pressed to Yennefer’s side. She was safe. That was good. Everything will be fine now. They will take her to Kaer Morhen. 

He closed his eyes, because suddenly they felt so heavy.

„Jaskier, don’t!”, he heard. „I love you. Please, please don’t!”. He must have misheard that. He smiled nonetheless.

And then he was no more.


	5. Duchy prześladują

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for so positive reactions to the previous chapter! It makes me want to continue this story even more. So, here there is another part, this time a look from Geralt's perspective.

They reached Kear Morhen. After long three weeks of hiking and climbing they finally got to the Witchers’ keep. Yennefer refused to create a portal which would took them there, explaining that Nilfgaard could find the fortress following their traces then, just like she found them after they kidnapped Ciri. The tiresome journey was therefore the only option.

Geralt thought that everything would return to normal after reaching their destination. Knowing that Ciri is safe should have calmed his troubled mind. He was wrong. Once he wasn't busy with worrying about the princess, once he didn't have to focus on the path in front of him, his mind started to project the image of his bard. He was seeing Jaskier everywhere.

When he went hunting, he expected to see his companion rushing right after him. As he passed the rich library of Kaer Morhen, he thought about how the bard would hide for days in there, trying to find some information for his ballads. As the temperature dropped, he unconsciously wondered if it wasn’t too cold for Jaskier. When he saw the first snow, he could almost hear the man fall into his poetic trance, describing the beauty of delicate snowflakes.

The more he tried to forget Jaskier, the more Jaskier was clinging to his thoughts. There were night he was drinking himself into unconsciousness with witcher potions to free himself even for a slight moment. Those nights were ending up with Yennefer and Vesemir practically dragging him back to his bed. Other nights he was spending outside the keep, willingly recreating memories of the bard, promising him silently that he will never forget him. He owed him that much.

Sometimes he was also catching himself humming Jaskier's songs. Under normal circumstances, he would have found it ridiculous, but now these songs comforted him. He knew that Jaskier would have mocked him endlessly if he got to know that Geralt actually knows words of each of his ballads.

Yennefer made him realize that he was grieving. She said it was normal, that it never goes away completely, but in time it becomes more bearable. She promised that one day he will be able to think about Jaskier without feeling that world falls apart. Yennefer's delicacy surprised him, he did not expect the witch to show such patience and understanding. She even sat down with him several times and shared her memories of the bard. It turned out she liked him a little bit after all.

What bothered Geralt wasn’t the fact that Jaskier died, though. Then he could be living in conviction that his bard is out there somewhere else. That he is happy, that he had found his peace. He would have sticked to the thought that once he got too slow, they might meet again.

After what Yennefer said, he knew it won’t happen.

_„Say goodbye, Geralt. He's about to cease to exist. He sacrificed himself for you”._

Geralt clenched his hands into fists helplessly. He spent days flipping through the pages of the books, deluding himself that he would find a clue that Yen could be mistaken. That there was a small possibility that Jaskier had simply crossed over to the other side. Or that there was a way of putting his ghost back together.

He didn’t find that clue.

All books were clear in that matter. If the ghost touched the temporal world, it fell apart. Taking a material form was draining so much energy that after doing so the ghost didn't have enough strength to keep itself together. That’s why if the ghost did so, it was an evidence of its extraordinary devotion.

Geralt snorted. The fool had little to none self preservation skills when he was alive, so of course he would have even less of them after his death. And now he had left Geralt unable to do anything to repair the damage. The Witcher ran his hand over his face.

„Are you rummaging through the books again? You've seen them a thousand times already”, Lambert stood at the entrance to the library, leaning against the doorframe. „Vesemir would be proud if you were doing that so willingly during your traning all those years ago”, he added.

Geralt only muttered, turning another page.

„Give it up already, Wolf”, he continued. „The witch said you won’t merge him back”.

„Maybe I can find something in the books of Elders”, the white-haired Witcher persisted.

„Do what you want, but know that we are all worried about you”, the younger man sighed. „It’s been months already”.

That was true. Months has passed since they got to Kaer Morhen. Winter had come and now the snow was melting. He divided all of his time between mourning, inept searches for a solution to the Jaskier's situation and Ciri's education. These months passed in the blink of an eye. Ciri became truly courageous during this time, taking fencing lessons from witchers and learning to control her gift with Yennefer. There was no trace of that uncertain and despairing child he had found in the woods anymore. And his bard had no small merit in that fact. If it wasn’t for him, Ciri probably wouldn’t have reached Kaer Morhen.

However, Geralt could not shake off the impression that Ciri's education lacked two things: playing the lute and the lessons of the Seven Liberal Arts. Jaskier would have insisted on making special lectures for the princess. And Geralt would have let him, the bard was a teacher in Oxenfurt after all.

He sighed deeply again. Everything revolved around Jaskier these days.

„Are you going back to the Path?”, Geralt asked. Lambert was clad in his armor, clearly ready for the journey.

„Well, the spring is coming. It’s time to stretch bones”, Lambert answered. „I’m getting bored in here”.

Geralt made an affirmative grunt.

„Then stay well, brother”, he started his farewell. „Let us meet again next winter”.

Lambert accepted these wishes with a short nod.

„Will you return to the Path this year?”, he asked.

„I don’t know”, Geralt admitted. „I can’t leave Ciri, but I also can’t hide here forever”.

„Well, if you decide to go out there, don’t lose your head, Wolf”, the younger man said. „We cannot afford to lose another witcher”, with that he turned around and left the library.

That made him think. He should go and check what is going on on the Continent. Sitting here without any information about moves of Nilfgaard might turned out dangerous after all. One day they can be caught by surprise.

So now he was walking down the hall to the place where Ciri trained with Yennefer. He stood in the doorway listening how the sorceress explains the art of concentration to the girl. Ciri was nodding with determination, clearly trying to remember the mentor's words. It brought a smirk on Geralt’s face.

„Don’t grin like an idiot”, Yennefer said. She didn't even look at the Witcher, but knew about his presence anyway. „She is a better listener than all of you put together”.

„I don’t doubt that”, he replied.

Yennefer finally turned to look at him. She put her hand on her hips, expectantly.

„What do you want?”, she asked.

„I’m thinking of going back to the Path”, Geralt admitted.

„What?”, Ciri squeaked. „You are leaving?”.

„Only for a short while”, the Witcher tried to calm her down. „I should check where Nilfgaard reached during the winter. It's not good not to keep up on their whereabouts”.

„That's reasonable”, claimed the sorceress. „It will probably also ease your mind”.

Geralt thought it is wiser not to mention that besides tracking Nilfgaard’s moves, he plans on visiting at least several mages to ask them about the possibility of revival of ghosts. The Wicher’s library didn’t contain all the knowledge of the world, after all.

„I want to go with you!”, demanded Ciri, hitting the table top with her hands to create a better effect.

„It’s out of the question!”, Yennefer huffed. She really took the role of a concerned mother to the heart.

„It’s too dangerous, Cub”, Geralt replied much softer than the sorceress. „I will be back in a few weeks, you won’t miss much. I’ll only visit few closest villages and listen for any significant rumors”, seeing the little girl's angry look, he added. „If I find out that Nilfgaard is far away, I'll take you on a short trip to the nearest town”.

Yennefer was already opening her mouth to object, but the Witcher silenced her with a stern glance. Ciri sent Geralt a suspicious look.

„Do you promise?”, she demanded a confirmation.

„I swear on my swords” that answer seemed to please the girl. She jumped off the stool and ran to the Witcher, throwing her arms around his neck. Geralt was no longer stiffening when similar gestures were made towards him. He has learned that children need a contact with their caregivers. He leaned to return the hug.

„Be careful”, the girl muttered into his shirt.

„I will”, he replied simply.

„When are you planning to leave?”, asked Yennefer. He could see she wass concerned. They were no longer lovers, however they still deeply cared about each other. They settled their matters during the winter, so now their relation was clean.

„I’ll leave tomorrow morning”, he answered. „I still need to pack some supplices and prepare Roach. Keep Ciri safe”.

The sorceress nodded. He knew without the doubt that Yennefer will take a good care of the princess.

He retreated to his room and sat down on his bed. Normally he couldn't wait to leave the keep, because he knew that in a few days he would surely bump into a certain talktive bard full of excitement about sharing the stories of how he spent the winter. In the spring followed by that cursed dragon hunt the bard surprised him with actually catching up with him only three days after he left Kaer Morhen. Firstly he heard rustling coming from the woods, but before he could draw out his sword, the noise was followed by the all too familiar voice.

„Ah, Geralt! Here you are!”, Jaskier gasped, visibly out of breath. „One of these days I will actually find your legendary fortress before you emerge out of it”, he announced.

„What do you do here, bard?”, he decided to ignore that statement.

„Decided to go for a walk. Knew you’d be somewhere in here”, the younger man waved his hand dismissively. „Anyway, you won’t believe what happened on Redanian court this winter. It was an absolute scandal…”.

Geralt didn’t listen any further, but the bard's pointless chatter was soothing him anyway. It was a reassurance that everything was exactly how it was supposed to be. He spurred Roach and walked slowly ahead, knowing that Jaskier will simply follow him.

This time he knew there will be no one there meet him. It will be just him and his thoughts. All alone like witchers were meant to be.

Bullshit. Other witchers could be meant to walk the Path alone, but he didn’t want that. It was a pity that he only found out about that after he lost his companion forever.

He sighed and threw the package over Roach's spine. He looked at the gate of Kaer Morhen once more. Ciri was standing on the stairs waving her hand in a farewell gesture. Yennefer was behind her, keeping her hands firmly on the girl’s shoulders.

Geralt jumped on his horse. It was a time to find out what this year has planned for him.


	6. Duchy zaskakują

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here goes the chapter that probably explains a lot of things. I hope you like it! <3

He took a sudden, sharp breath. He felt the adrenaline speeding his heart up. His eyes snapped opened. The blinding pain that has struck him was slowly fading away, which after a moment calmed him down a little bit. To say he was confused was an understatement. That seemed to be a constant thing for him these days.

Was this the afterlife? If so, he won’t be recommending it to anyone anytime soon. Passing over here felt literally like being torn apart. A truly dreadful experience.

Besides, he was expecting a warm light, unearthly beauty, maybe some quiet music. Not to mention some beautiful dryads greeting him with bouquets of colorful flowers. Instead, he was staring at the rocky ceiling, lying on something terribly uncomfortable and cold. Maybe he ended up in some hell, after all? He should have known that his escapades with married women, drunken brawls and generally annoying nature will bring him condemnation. He really should have worked on his flaws while he could.

Well, now he had no other choice but trying to charm his way to get a better treatment from the demons.

„Welcome back, bard”, he heard a sweet female voice echoing. „I have to admit I didn’t expect that from you”, the voice sounded impressed.

Jaskier slowly got up from the stone bed. He looked around. It seemed like he was inside of some cave. There was no furniture here, except for the stone bench on which he had just been lying. The light was diffused and very dim, it penetrated inside through the gaps between the stones. Jaskier deduced that it must be night outside.

Eventually, his eyesight found the owner of the mysterious voice. The woman was leaning against the wall in the far corner of the cave. She was truly beautiful. Long black hair flowed down her shoulders, shining green and slightly slanting eyes were staring right at him. She was tall and slender, dressed in a truly royal golden robe. Though, long horns of deer were rather distinguishing her from ordinary mortals.

The bard swallowed, sensing upcoming troubles. 

The longer he was looking at the women, the more the feeling that he had seen her somewhere before grew. Suddenly, he remembered. She was a traveller, he has met her in the inn. She looked like a simple human then, but he couldn’t be mistaken. It was her.

„We spent the night together”, he stated weakly, his voice hoarse. Well, Geralt was right, Jaskier was an imbecile. And now he was going to die because of that. The bard knew exactly what kind of expression would have appeared on the Witcher's face if he was here right now.

Wait. Wasn’t Jaskier already dead, anyway?

The bard’s hand flew to his chest, although it probably wasn’t necessary, since he could basically hear his rapid heartbeat. His movement earned him a woman's pearly laugh.

„Yes, we spent the night together”, she confirmed, still laughing. „You charmed me and then deceived me. You thought you might slip out of the chamber unnoticed once you got from me what you wanted”, she accused.

Well, that indeed sounded just like him. Scratch out the previous statement. With his luck, the escapades with any women will bring him condemnation.

He opened his mouth to ask the question that was bugging him ever since he opened his eyes.

„Yes, you are alive”, the mysterious woman answered before he voiced it out. She rolled her eyes, as if that information wasn’t important.

„Good. That’s good, I guess”, he said and then quickly added. „I wish so very much for it to stay that way”. 

The woman smiled broadly. She had a beautiful smile.

„Don’t worry. I don’t plan on murdering you anymore”, she claimed.

That should bring him a relief, but there was that one word in that statement…

„Anymore?”, Jaskier whispered.

„You surely remember what happened?”, the woman asked. Her eyes sparkled with undisguised joy, she clearly enjoyed the situation. Jaskier decided he enjoys it much, much less.

He stared at her, expecting further explanation. At first his mind was blank, but then the memories struck him with a great force.

_Him leaving a chamber at the first light. The woman's fury as she caught up with him in the alley. The blue ball of light she threw at him. The feeling of being struck by lightning. Waking up in some unknown tavern. Realization that nobody can see him. Meeting Geralt and Ciri. The travel with them. Their reunion with Yennefer. Kidnapping. The attack on the Nilfgaard’s camp. And then… oh._

„Who are you?”, he asked, confused.

„I’m a Fae”, she smiled brightly once again. „Actually, I’m the princess of the Fae court”.

Fantastic! Of course, he had to come across and seduce the princess of the people whom everyone considered to be a figment of human fantasy. And of course, he must have had made her angry with his behavior. He really had no idea how to get out of this situation, but if he somehow survives it, he will surely write a cautionary song about it. The working title „Don’t trust women who are too beautiful” seemed perfect.

Seeing the terror and confusion mingling on the bard's face, the woman decided to extend a helping hand.

„I don’t like when people play with the feelings of others. You played with mine and that made me really furious”, she crossed her arms over her chest. „So I decided to give you a lesson”.

She sighed irritated, seeing that Jaskier still did't understand anything.

„I have separated your soul from your body and sent it in the direction of the person you seemed to be in love with”, she explained. „I expected the feeling to be unrequited, at least that’s what I read out of you. So imagine my surprise when the man actually saw you”.

„Geralt wasn’t supposed to see me?”, the bard asked, feeling even more lost.

„Only those who love the cursed people back can see them. That’s how the fae magic works. You clearly were oblivious of that witcher’s feelings”, she giggled.

Jaskier’s mind stopped at the information that Geralt apparently loved him. He felt his chest was going to burst out with happiness.

„The cursed ones suffer a pure agony, being so close to their loved ones, but unable to contact them in any way”, the woman continued. „They watch them live their happy lifes, slowly realizing that the people they love don't care about their disappearance at all. At the end the cursed souls go crazy and then their bodies die”, she shrugged.

„That’s cruel”, the bard whispered.

„Playing with feelings of others is cruel”, her glance hardened. „You were lucky you were mistaken about that witcher”, she added.

„That I was”, he shivered at the thought of being forced to watch Geralt living is life happily with Yennefer. „Wait. Why my hands started to shine with a light when I accepted the thought that there was no place for me in Geralt’s new family?”.

„I don’t know”, she shrugged again. „They had you convinced you were a ghost. Maybe you believed it a little bit too much. I assure you, you wouldn’t have crossed to any other dimension. Probably that witcher would simply stoped seeing you”.

Jaskier was glad that Geralt didn’t. He couldn’t believe that there was a thing he should be thankful to Nilfgaard for. Not that he would actually consider repaying that debt. He still hated these invaders.

„I would have still killed you, though”, the woman interrupted his trail of thoughts.

„What?”, he swallowed the lump that suddenly stood in his throat. 

„The witcher loves you, so the original punishment wouldn’t work. That was leaving the a less sophisticated method of retaliation. A simple murder. I had your body laying helplessly here all this time, after all”.

So very lovely. He really hated where this conversation was leading to.

„But I didn’t expect you to sacrifice yourself for that witcher”, she continued. „The people who play with feelings of others don’t throw themselves on a blade like that”, her eyes suddenly softened.

„They don’t?”, Jakier asked uncertainly.

„No, they don’t”, she repeated. „They are usually selfish bastards who think world turns around them”, the woman huffed. „Believe me, I met dozens of them”.

„So, it wasn’t the first time you used that method of punishment?”.

„Many men suffered like that because of me”, the woman confirmed. „You are the first to break through it, though”.

He should probably feel proud of himself. But he didn’t. He felt ashamed. He really didn’t think of what that woman would feel after waking up alone in a cold bed. He was so used to being left just like that himself, that he started to act in the same way. Leave someone before that someone leaves you.

„I’m sorry”, he said quietly. „I know it won’t fix anything, but you should know that I’m truly sorry. I won’t ask for forgiveness and I’ll take whatever punishment you are going to throw at me”.

He felt the woman’s intensive gaze o himself. Jaskier didn’t dare to look at her. He heard she moved from her spot. He unconsciously flinched as he felt the woman's fingers on his forehead. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for upcoming pain. 

„I predict a long and happy life for you. Let the magic of fae keep you in good health and let the nature keep a bad luck out of your way”, he heard her whisper. It was followed by a string of words in an unknown ancient language. Jaskier could sense the magic filling the air. Then woman’s fingers moved and the contact was broken.

„What did you do?”, the bard was both terrified and amazed.

„Nothing you have to be concerned about”, she smiled. „You are free to go”, she gestured towards the entrance to the cave.

„What? You are letting me go?”, Jaskier was dumbfounded.

„You proved you don’t deserve the gruesome death I planed for you. Besides, I think if I killed you right now, I would accidentally hurt a certain Innocent witcher”.

Jaskier looked between the woman and the entrance to the cave. There had to be some kind of a trick in there. He heard stories of Fae's cunning. He will go out and be struck by the blue lightning again. Or the exit will turn out to be an illusion. Or worse, it will lead Jaskier to an abyss and he will fall straight into the death's arms. Jaskier hated the height.

„What are you waiting for?”, she asked and then rolled her eyes. „I promise there are no strings attached. Off you go! Find your witcher, he is probably a mess right now”.

The mention of Geralt acted like a switch. Jaskier jumped up from his seat, his mind screaming „Geralt thinks you are dead!”. It seemed that the bard had a lot of repairing to do. He bowed to the mysterious woman.

„I am in your debt, my dear lady”, he started. „You made me realize many important things, for which I am very grateful. Let me compose a ballad about your righteous and beautiful heart”.

„Aren't you a charming one”, she giggled.

„Can I get to know your name?”, the bard asked.

„It’s better if I keep if for myself. It will add a hint of mystery to your ballad”, she winked at him.

„I see you know what attracts the public”, Jaskier reached for his lute, which had been lying alone on the ground all this time. „Be well, dear lady”, bowed slightly and headed for the entrance to the cave.

It was already a dawn outside. The sun was making the sky pink. Jaskier took a deep breath, his lungs filled with fresh air. He smiled widely and chose the direction. He adjusted his lute and began to play a light tune. He wondered how much time has passed and what Geralt was doing. He wasn’t also entirely sure where he was right now. The terrain pointed to some mountainous areas. Maybe he wasn’t that far from Kear Morhen?

He reminded himself that will have to take precautions anyway. The Nilfgaardians could be anywhere and the last thing he wanted was for them to follow him right to the Witchers’ keep. Perhaps his reunion with Geralt will delay, but it was necessary. Anyway, he made it his goal to reach his Witcher sooner or later.

He will decide how to reach that particular goal once he gets to the nearest village.


	7. Duchy wracają

Jaskier was walking down the road, slowly but steadily making his way towards north. He was in a good mood. Admittedly, he has had some problems in recent months, but it looked that they were all already behind him.

After his encounter with the Fae princess, he discovered that Nilfgaard had gone deeper into the Continent than he expected, which made his pursuit of Geralt much more difficult. In the end, he decided to wait out the winter in an inconspicuous little town, working in a local stable. Not a very appropriate job for a nobleman, but Jaskier already ceased to be one a long time ago. Being a famous bard with connections to the wanted Witcher could have put him in an additional trouble, so he temporary changed his nickname and image. He had let his hair grow slightly, so that he could now tie it into a short ponytail, he also had a short stubble now. He began to dress in less flashy colors as for not to be so conspicuous. The only thing he didn't part with was his lute.

So now, when the snow already melted, he left the town, playing light tones to himself. In a few days he should reach the place he met Geralt last spring. There was a possibility that the Witcher didn’t leave the keep this year, focused on Ciri’s safety. Jaskier decided that if he won't bump into the Witcher, then he will be just roaming around, hoping to accidentaly step into a trail that leads to Kaer Morhen. The bard more or less knew where the ancient building was supposed to be.

He tried not to think about the possibility of being eaten alive before he ends up in the fortress.

On the road ahead of him, a lonely figure riding a horse began to loom. Jaskier's heart skipped in a hope that this might be Geralt, but soon he realized that the rider's posture varies greatly from the one of his Witcher's. At first the bard wanted to hide, but then he understood that the stranger had already noticed him. When the man got closer, Jaskier saw that he is indeed dealing with another witcher here. That one looked nothing like Geralt, with his dark hair and even stubble, but Jaskier’s attention was rather drawn to a wolf-shaped necklace resting on the man’s chest. That witcher had to be from Geralt’s school, which meant he was probably coming straight from Kaer Morhen.

Jaskier made his decision. He won’t have a better chance.

„Hello, good man!”, in a frivolous gesture he blocked the witcher's passage. „Can I take a minute of your time?”, he asked.

The unknown witcher spurred his horse, frowned and growled menacingly.

„Get out of my way, poor man, if you value your life”.

So, dryness and hostility must have been an innate trait of witchers, then. Nonetheless, Jakier smiled broadly. He really didn’t think that witcher would hurt him. That is, if he was taught the same principles that Geralt. 

„You see, I’m looking for my dear friend and couldn’t help but noticed that you happen to have a very similar medalion to the one he owns”, the bard continued.

„I am a witcher”, the man grunted as if that explained everything.

„I know that. That is exatly my point!”, Jaskier waved his hand, underlining his words. „By chance, don't you happen to know Geralt of Rivia?”.

That question provoked a rather unexpected reaction. The witcher jumped off his horse and grabbed Jaskier by the coat flaps, shaking him furiously.

„What do you want from by brother?”, he roared. Definitely knew Geralt, then.

„Before I start to explain, I’d like to point out that Geralt might be a little bit unhappy if you kill me right here”, he whispered.

„Who are you?”, growled the witcher.

„Well, during the winter I used the alias Dandelion, as not to bring him more trouble, because as we both know, certain people in black armors are looking for our mutual friend and I may or may not know far too many information about him”, he started.

„Get to the point!”, another strong tug by the coat.

„Geralt knows me as Jaskier, but I don’t suppose he has ever mentioned…”, before he could end the sentence, the other man huffed.

„Impossible. The bard’s dead”, so he told his brother about him, after all.

„It turns out I’m not! Believe me, it was a surprise for me too”, Jaskier explained. „And that’s exactly the news I want to share with Geralt”.

Seeing the witcher's suspicious gaze, the bard continued.

„Ask me about him. Something personal, that only those close to him would know”.

The witcher was thinking for a longer moment. Jaskier could basically see wheels turning inside of his head. Then the man’s eyes shone with an obvious amusement.

„The bard was adding fragrance oils to his baths. Every winter Geralt complains that we don't have them in the keep. Irritates me every time, since he should just asked the bard to let him take some. So, what kind of oils they were?”.

That was so not the kind of question Jaskier was waiting for. It left him speechless for a brief moment. Geralt always told him he hated those stupid smells, but then allowed to add them to the bath anyway, so the man could have a point after all…

„Chamomile, lavender and some sandalwood. But only a little, because too much makes Geral’s head hurt”, he answered.

The witcher was looking at him a moment longer and then let him go, a wide smile spreading on his face.

„What a surprise!”, he laughed. „And a relief to be honest, because recently Geralt turned into even gloomer pile of shit! It’s nice to fianlly meet you, Jaskier! Although, I expected a more colorful outfit after what Geralt told us about you”.

„I’m undercover”, Jaskier smiled back.

„I’m Lambert, by the way”, the witcher introduced himself.

„Nice to meet you, Lambert”, the bard shook the outstretched hand of the Witcher. „So, can you help me with finding Geralt?”.

„The Wolf didn’t leave the keep, at least not before I went on my way”, Lambert started. „I can’t give you straight directions to Kaer Morhen, you have to understand we are obligated to keep it in secret, even more in the recent times. But I can give you a few hints…”.

At the end, Lambert gave Jaskier meticulous details of the forests around the Witchers’ keep, focusing on a few things which will allow the bard to take the right direction. Then the men exchanged a few pleasantries, Lambert expressed the hope that they will meet the next winter in Kaer Morhen and headed on his way.

On the next evening it turned out that Lambert’s hints were not needed.

Jaskier decided to stay for the night in the inn in some inconspicuous village. He stepped over the threshold and looked around for a good place to rest. He was planning to hide in a corner, the presence of a stranger in such a small settlement could cause unnecessary attention. His resolve shattered as his gaze met the back of the man sitting on the other side of the room. Jaskier grinned like an idiot. There was no way he was mistaken.

Jaskier wondered many times what his first meeting with Geralt would be like. Now he just knew he had to make a show out of it. He was a bard after all, and this was the perfect occasion to give an unforgettable performance.

Geralt hadn't noticed him yet, he had to be absorbed in his own thoughts. Which was strange, because normally the Witcher was very sensitive to his surroundings.

Jaskier quietly took the lute off of his back, mentally prepared himself and then yanked on the strings, bringing out the familiar sounds. He noticed that the Witcher’s back immediately tensed.

„When a humble bard  
graced a ride along  
with Geralt of Rivia  
along came this song…”

Geralt spinned around with a remarkable speed, his wide eyes locked on Jaskier. The bard pretended not to see him, leaning nonchalantly against the counter. The small group of people who were at the inn began to clap and sing along with the bard. Soon, Jaskier was dancing around, encouraging people to be even louder. At one point he turned on his heel and winked playfully at the witcher. It looked like Geralt was in some kind of shock. Regardless of this fact, Jaskier finished the song and thanked the audience with a low bow. Only then did he turn towards Geralt.

„I love the way you just sit in the corner and brood”, he spontaneously decided to recreate the scene of their first meeting.

When his words were met with no reaction from the Witcher, Jaskier slipped onto the opposite bench.

„No one else hestitated to comment on the quality of my performance, except for you. So, three words or less”.

Geralt was staring at him blankly.

„You are dead”, he finally said. 

„Those… are three words, I guess”, the bard nodded approvingly.

They stared at each other some more. Jaskier sighed.

„So, remember that one time when you told me I will end up in some deep shit if I’m going to sleep around with wrong people?”, he started. „Well, you were right. It turned out that I seduced that Fae princess, who kind of cursed me to look like a ghost, of what I had no idea about, of course. But at the end she was touched by my sacrifice and decided not to kill me permanently, so here I am”, he spread his hands in a welcome gesture.

The Witcher was processing what he just heard for a moment, then frowned angrily.

„You are not dead”, he stated.

„No, I’m not”, the bard confirmed. 

In the blink of an eye, Geralt jumped up from his seat, grabbed the bard by the collar and angrily pushed him against the wall.

„I should kill you for your stupidity!”, he roared.

„It would greatly spoil my efforts to stay alive”, the bard argued weakly.

Anyone who would look at the face of the Witcher right now was probably going to faint from fear. Not Jaskier, though. Geralt's eyes flashed with incredible anger and still, Jaskier thought it was the most beautiful view in the world.

„Hit me, I deserve it”, he said calmly.

The Witcher pursed his lips in a grimace. Jaskier closed his eyes, bracing himself for the impact of Geralt’s fist. He felt a sudden tug on his coat.

And then Geralt’s lips were on his. 

Jaskier made a startled noise, which was effectively drowned out by the actions of the Witcher. For a moment the bard was freezed on the spot but a mere second later he was already returning the kiss. As for the rough man Geralt claimed to be, his lips were truly soft. Jaskier could have stayed in that kiss forever. Unfortunately, it ended way too soon.

Geralt stepped back slightly and opened his mouth to speak, but the bard was faster.

„I think I need you to hit me like that once again, just to be sure your message on my stupidity reached my brain”.

„What brain?”, Geralt smirked. Jaskier looked indignant. The Witcher probably guessed that the bard’s expression was an announcement of a longer argument, because he simply leaned in and kissed him again.

„You, freaks!”, shouted someone. „Take a room and don't scandalize decent people!”.

Geralt broke the kiss. Jaskier was sure that this comment would make Geralt back down and pretend that nothing has happened. But Geralt only glared at the man and then grabbed Jaskier's wrist.

„We will”, he stated, pulling the bard towards the stairs.

„Wait! My lute!”, Jaskier resisted, overcoming the pure shock. He rushed for his instrument and then turned to Geralt. „Lead the way!”.

The Witcher only smiled. Jaskier could see a relief and happiness mixing in those yellow eyes.

The next morning they were lying lazily on the bed, their limbs tangled together.

„I can’t believe I got a witcher in my bed”, Jaskier sighed.

„You didn’t”, answered Geralt. „It’s me who got a bard in mine”.

„That’s… a valid point”, he laughed. The Witcher leaned to hush him with another kiss.

„We should get up”, Geralt said when he moved away from his bard. „I promised Ciri I’ll be back as soon as possible and I already extended my trip”.

And just like that they were on the road again. Jaskier missed their travels and was relieved that everything was gong back to normal. Well, maybe not everything, because now Geralt seemed to be smiling more, he even became somehow more talktive. They were also sleeping together in one bedroll and often getting out of it way too late. But those were changes Jaskier didn’t mind at all. 

After a few days they were standing in front of the huge fortress. Jaskier felt overwhelmed by its size. He wanted to throw an infinite number of questions on Geralt, but before he could voiced out even one, the gate opened. A small figure sprinted out of it, which was met with a loud "Ciri, wait!" from the inside.

The princess didn’t listen and literally threw herself at the Witcher. Geralt laughed and returned the hug.

„You are back!”, she shouted. „I was so worried!”.

Geralt started to reassure her that he was fine. It took a moment for the girl to notice the presence of another person. She looked at Jaskier with wide eyes. 

„Who is that?”, she asked the Witcher quietly. 

Geralt let go of her and turned to face the bard.

„He’s a friend”, he smiled. „You actually met him before”.

„I didn’t”, the girl crossed her arms over her chest.

„I beg to differ, princess”, the bard interrupted. „It’s just that you didn’t see me. I’m Jaskier, the famous bard at your service”, he bowed.

Surprised, she looked at Geralt. The Witcher nodded in confirmation. The girl made a loud squeak and this time she threw herself on Jaskier. The bard stumbled in surprise, but then hugged the girl tightly. 

„It’s nice to be able to see you! We missed you so much!”, she muttered into his chest. Jaskier was taken aback by the fact that Ciri immediately accepted him as someone who was close to her.

„So what our bard actually did this time?”, he lifted his eyes to look at Yennefer, who was coming their way, smiling widely. 

„That’s a long story”, replied Geralt. „Let’s go inside first, because it surely will take Jaskier hours to familiarize us with all of the details”.

"He will stretched the facts anyway", the sorceress pointed out.

Jaskier looked between Geralt, Yennefer and Ciri and for the first time in a very long time he felt that he belongs somewhere. 

It seemed he finally found his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the final chapter. It's a little bit longer than the previous ones, but I really couldn't help myself. Writing this was fun :)


End file.
